ack

i read blogs. i love reading blog. i like looking at a glimmer of how other people live and what their lives are like.

know what i hate? those perfect people. i hate reading blogs where every thing is perfect. where there are these people who have it all together? how everything ‘goes their way?’ then, they give advice on how you can be perfect, just like them?

i’m not perfect. i’ll never be perfect. not sure i want to be perfect. i think it would be too stressful. i’m good with my flaws and my anxiety. it forces me to trust in Him.

 

i’m still struggling. i’m doing a study on proverbs. it’s been speaking to me. i’m working on my trust. i’m realizing that i have to give it all to Him. then, i’ll find the peace i’m so┬ádesperately┬áseeking. it will come. i know that God won’t let me flounder. i feel His grace already.

 

 

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it’s just the beginning

this is just the beginning.

this is where i’m going to vent, express and share my thoughts. no one but me will probably ever read this and i’m good with that. i’m not going to worry about grammar and spelling and stuff like that. i deal with that every day…all day.

 

here i’m going to be real. i’m going tot be me. i’m going to let it all out.

 

i’ve been struggling lately. i’ve been struggling with life. i wish that things would be clear and they’re not. i feel horrible just saying that. my life is GOOD. i’m blessed.

 

there are people who have literally horribly things happening to them and me? nothing. my life is amazing. i have a husband, 3 healthy kids, a wonderful extended family and for some reason?! i’m sad. i annoy myself right now.

 

i’m asking God to work on my heart. i’m trying my best. i’m begging and pleading.

 

this is real. this is it. i’m trying.